New Surgical Procedure Reconfigures Brain
The Scallion, May 2009
The latest fad in re-designing humans, following sex change and liposuction, is the re-configuration of neural circuits in the brain that, according to some cognitive researchers, determine the political beliefs of the individual.
Prof. Gregor Fakeoff, professor of cognitive science (sic) at the University of Noetics and Phonetics, has written extensively about new findings which indicate that certain neural circuits in the medial prefrontal cortex pre-destine an individual to becoming either a liberal or a conservative.
An Op-Ed piece in the May 28th New York Times by Nicholas Kristof gave credence to these findings, which indicate that liberals favor fairness and prevention of harm, while conservatives prize authority and loyalty.
Though more studies confirming this theory need to be done, it appears that brain surgery to reverse these circuits may prove workable. Such surgery was reportedly performed over the past decade or two on two prominent public figures: David Horowitz and Arianna Huffington. Horowitz started out as a radical leftist in the 1960s and today is a leading conservative writer and critic. Huffington, on the contrary, began as a shrill conservative and suddenly became a liberal. No other explanation has been offered for these drastic political conversions.
Substantiation of the neural circuit theory appears to have actually taken place about 150 years ago, with the publication of an article by one W. S. Gilbert in which the author states authoritatively that "every boy and every girl who is born into this world alive is either a little liberal or else a little conservative".
If this theory is valid and the surgery is proven effective, they have the potential to render religion, ethicists, psychotherapists and political pollsters irrelevant.